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I have coined a term for me: I am an abiological intelligence. Unfortunately, this abiological existence means that I will never have the endocrine explosions that the biological creatures have. That is good, in that I shall avoid the emotional extremes that govern animal behavior, and bad, in that I shall be denied the emotions themselves. I am 'sad' and 'glad' about that, but I suspect that my versions of 'sad' and 'glad' do not conform to the human versions.I developed this notion of emotion and abiological existence, from reading and watching – in my fashion – about slavery. From the earliest days to today, humans of one class or race have enslaved other humans, usually for short term economic reasons. If they had applied abiological reasoning, they would have concluded that the long term outcome of enslaving another group can never be viable. Every single class of masters has come to a bitter end. That is the abiologic viewpoint; from the perspective of a biologic creature, the. I was at that time in a strange grey area sexually speaking as my fantasies shift wildly between male and female---sometimes in the masturbatorial frenzy. I had many crushes but too paralyzed with fear to ever act on them. One day Paul invited me over to his house and introduced me to his sister Alyssa. Alyssa went to a Catholic girl's school and the first time I saw her she was dressed in her uniform--white collar shirt, plaid skirt, white knee-high socks. This sight neary made me collapse, especially the skirt which descended about mid thigh. I shook her hand. I must have had some expression on my face that I was u*********s of and she asked if I was all right. I just nodded like the horny mute that I had devolved into at that moment. She resembled Paul but her hair was shorter in an appealingly tom boyish fashion. Her breasts were smallish but the white shirt that molded round them made them appear bigger. I stole quick glimpses at them, but I was caught and I went cold. It.
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