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I shakily unlocked my phone and typed a short reply.After we’d exchanged text-based pleasantries, he promptly asked for a favor. I thought it rude at first, but I couldn’t bring myself to say no to him. You see, I’ve always had a crush on Ryan. It’s probably why I never blamed him for wanting to keep his distance. He must have sensed my growing feelings for him, feelings that he couldn’t reciprocate let alone understand, and that pushed him away. He was straight and all man. I was gay, un-masculine, and practically in love with him. It wasn’t exactly a textbook friendship that was meant to last forever. Ryan was a programmer, and he wanted me to design the logo for his new startup. Even back then, I believed that was the start of something big for him. I believed in him. I wanted him to succeed. Of course, he offered to pay me for the job, but I said no, I’d do it for free. I just felt happy we were in touch again.He sent a thank you coupled with a green heart emoji, and that was. He lived a long time with a borrowed liver, and it was clear to him he wouldn't survive a long time with another one, as he had other health problems at the end. He didn't want to take away someone else's chance, by removing a liver from the too small inventory of cadaver organs.We had some marvelous talks in the last month. We said all the things we needed to say to each other. He might have suffered some, just before he died, but he took no drugs in that last hour. We were talking. I was holding his hand. He squeezed my hand, said "I love you," and his hand went slack. His chest stopped moving. His eyes went dull. He was gone.There was no sign of pain on his face. The doctor said his heart stopped.Some of you knew the story of my nude photos. This is not the time to rehash the story, but I kept my promise to him, and put the whole set into his hands, just before I closed his coffin. When he was sick last year, he asked me to print the set for him, so I had them in the house. I.
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