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When was the last time Canada played a key role in world affairs? Winning the Vancouver Olympics in men’s and women’s Hockey doesn’t bloody count. Hockey is a sport, not a global political or social event. Don’t tell that to a Canadian, though. They might spontaneously combust upon hearing it. Canadians are the fakest, most bigoted and most racist people on the planet. They’re really good at hiding it until you get to know them. My name is Steve Lamour. An American citizen of Haitian descent attending a Canadian University in the city of Ottawa, Ontario. And I approve this message. Canadians will never amount to anything. They will always be the wayward brats of the now defunct and nonexistent British Empire, the eager worshipers of the old Queen and they’re blissfully unaware of the low opinion that Londoners have of them. Canada never had the guts to stand up to the British and truly become independent like America has. Canadians are loyal to the Crown of England, which sees all. She looked at me sweetly, attempting to block the view of Aunt April. “Shhh...honey. Just try and rest now, you’ve had too much to drink. We..um..we’re just helping you get out of your wet bathing suit baby. The trunks you had on were too small for your..um..your size sweetie. They were severely constricting and we we’re just making sure everything is healthy down there.” She ran her fingers through my hair with a soothing smile trying to reassure me everything was ok. “..Am..am..I dreaming Mom?” I asked with a groggy moan, trying to give my mom an easy out. I did this in case it was awkward for us later, I could play the dream card and ignore what happened. “Oh sweetheart..shh..just rest now. Everything will be ok, just shut your eyes. Mommy’s going to take care of her baby. You just lay back and let us help you.” I felt my Aunt slowly retract her lips from my shaft ending with a sensual kiss on my head. It bobbed it the air with each throb acting as plea for more. My mother.
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