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Luckily, we’re being protected by a small invasion force camping out on the lawn of our neighbors across the street. Don’t worry, I know them; they’re on Helen’s side, they’re all right. They’re posing as tourists having a family reunion; and for being from a country whose primary industry is tourism, they’re either really bad at it, or so good at it that it just looks bad to an American seeing it from the outside.Helen had just gone across the street, along with her new protection, a big, bald Englishman named Mander who’s surprisingly polite for someone that you can take one look at and know that he’s killed people for money. Julie and Troy had just gone to the bedroom so he could comfort her, leaving me alone on the back patio. I thought of calling Rachel, a new girlfriend I’ve made recently, and asking her to come stay with us while Seattle’s likely to erupt into rioting at any moment, but I don’t want to put her in danger, too. Huh, I guess she really is safer there than with us. ‘MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS!’ she shrieked, thus dashing any thoughts I may have had to parlay my diplomatic skills into a job with the United Nations. ‘I’m sorry I peeked in your window,’ I said, trying another tack. ‘I just caught a glimpse accidently as I was coming up to the door, and you looked so gorgeous that, even though I knew it was wrong, I couldn’t help myself.’ This time I’d hit on the right formula. The storm clouds disappeared from over Vanessa’s face. ‘All right, you can come in,’ she relented. ‘But I’m still going to be mad at you for another 5 minutes, because you deserve it. I ought to give you a good spanking, that’s what I ought to do.’ ‘Yes, please, Miss,’ I replied. ‘Your an all-around deviant, aren’t you?’ she said shaking her head. By the time my 5 minutes were up we were sharing a couple of cold beers at the kitchen table. Vanessa had changed in the meantime into a light yellow summer dress. ‘Actually I wouldn’t have really minded if I hadn’t been.
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