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But I didn't care about that. I'd married Rex out of obligation, expectation. The prom queen and the quarterback, a modern American love story. My heart wasn't in it though. For all of those twenty long years, I'd had a nagging feeling that I wanted something else, something different...Cassie was nineteen, my daughter's best friend since kindergarden. I'd known her since she was in pigtails and bows, but she was all woman now. As my daughter went off to college, Cassie stayed behind. When others asked her why she didn't go, she offered a multitude of reasons - her grades weren't good enough, her Mom needed her around to take care of her sisters, she loved our hometown too much to leave it. But the real reason was something else. Cassie hated the burden of expectation that was placed on her, she hated the weight of responsibility, she was paralyzed by what others thought she should do, so she did nothing at all. She longed for structure, for someone to tell her what decisions to. Though the two other girls who had come with us had worn more sensible pants, she had, on most days, strode around camp with her long legs bare. Though it was early afternoon, no one was up and dressed but her. We all still lay in our sleeping bags, passed out on the ground after a long night of drinking and talking. She must have roused herself but a few minutes before I opened my sleepy eyes to glimpse her out on the hood greeting the day. She picked up the brush she had carefully packed into her bag with her and brushed her hair till it was shimmering. Even out in the woods she groomed fastidiously. Though the rest of us bore the dirt smudges and rustled hair that we'd picked up on our three days in the bush, she had made a point of getting herself up early; she liked being clean. Her bare feet landed gingerly on the ground as she slid down from the hood and tiptoed over to her bag. It was small and compact, but more tightly packed than any of our other personal effects. Rustling.
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