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I opened my legs further, giving him unlimited access to my virginity. After a couple of futile probes, Rick guided his penis to my quivering bottom and thrust forward. I kind of shrank back, but he kept moving forward. I felt an instant of pain, then felt myself forced open as he continued sliding in until he could go no further. Rick moved in and out about half a dozen times before collapsing on me shaking in little spasms. He kissed me once or twice then kind of rolled to one side. After a minute or two, I felt him slip out of me. I lay beside Rick wondering what to do next. I had just lost my virginity, and wondered how I should feel. I felt as if I had captured Rick, but didn't feel like anything very special had happened for me. I concluded that Mom was right, having sex was something that a woman did because if she didn’t, her man would split. Carefully I slipped out of bed and stepped into the bathroom. I felt a little sticky down there, and wanted to wash up. I. Riving back home that night, I really found it difficult to get Diane out of my mind. For the first time since Connie, I had found a girl I really felt attracted to. With Connie, it wasn't so much a physical attraction for her as it was another quality, which I had taken to labeling charisma. With Diane, it was a strong physical attraction, plus the fact I liked her flamboyant and exuberant approach to life. How many girls would have been willing to make the kind of public spectacle of themselves she had? The confrontation with Leon and the other girl, and then the public display of herself she later made, collapsing on the sidewalk like that, and then crying so intensely. Even her sitting in the restaurant, blithely telling me all about her past sexual history had convinced me she was someone who wasn't afraid to embrace life fully. I wanted to be around her, to draw on some of her life force, for my own benefit. She had enough zest to release me from the funk I had fallen into.It is.
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