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I didn't know what to do.Then I remembered "the local cafe serves breakfast until 11."Got caught having a pee in the local swimming pool today.The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a burglar sneaking through next door's garden.Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.Astonished, I got back into bed.My wife said, "Darling, you're shaking, what is it?" You'll never believe what I've just seen!" I said, "That tosser next door has still got my bloody shovel."A man is seeking to join the Vancouver Police force. The Sergeant doing the interview says:"Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted." Then, sliding a pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, he says: "Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants,. I love the idea of fucking an underage morsel in her own parent's bed. But that pleasure I usually limit to those situations in which I have a complicit (and thoroughly naive) girl to play with, where she is willing to take some risks for me, and will take steps to cover up any evidence. In a case like this — a case of basic rape — I try to avoid it. Why? Because it is my belief that in many cases, the girls I've raped don't ever tell anyone, including their parents, of the attack. This may seem counterintuitive, but I believe that their own humiliation and shame will often ensure their silence. To increase the odds of this shame, I always try to get my girls to achieve an orgasm, or at least to experience great pleasure from our tryst. Somehow, that makes them feel that they share in the blame. Nice, huh? In any case, cumstains on Mommy's bed to be explained would kind of take the shamed silence possibility out of play, don't you think?I'm sorry to sound so didactic, but I always.
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