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”“Lid up or down?”I grinned. “Down, but ... you really need to know the back story or you’ll be thinking I’m just too perfect. We had a dog when I was a kid; one day he was thirsty and his water bowl was empty, so he put his head in the toilet bowl. Mom had one of those fragrant block things in baskets on the edge of the bowl; Sam licked it after he had drunk some water, didn’t enjoy the taste, and made a mess all over the bathroom floor. Not good. We all got very consistent at keeping the lid down after that.”Mel grimaced at the thought. “Gross, but I can understand why you’d quickly get into the habit without needing remedial training. My mom never did get my brother to learn. He took after Dad, reckoned tidiness around the house was highly suspect in a real working class man. Any other childhood misdemeanors I should know about?”“You got a week or three to spare? Are you sitting real comfortably?”That got me a laugh. “Maybe we can get high one weekend and swap boasting stories. I’d. Second, I became tired. I could no longer be the giddy and spontaneous flirt. I had to be up with the baby at all hours with no time for him. For nearly a year I smelled of sweat, puke, and a dirty diaper twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. Since I rarely had any help with the baby, I was unable to maintain the immaculate hygiene he was used to. That I was used to. I might go an entire month without washing my hair. Our home was disgusting. I lived in fear that Child Protective Services would somehow find out and take my beloved child from me. I cleaned as I could, but I could only do as much as my baby would allow. A load of laundry here, a sink of dishes there was all I could manage. Running the vacuum or scrubbing the toilet would have to wait. At some point in this madness, and possibly sensing no end to it, my husband told me at last that his love for me was gone entirely. That he was no longer attracted to me. That he felt resentful toward me. That I had changed too.
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