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It was at a dinner dance at my husband Richard’s company Christmas celebration. To be honest it wasn’t exactly an official topless dress, just a black lace evening dress with a scooped back that I was wearing back to front, to allow both breasts to hang out completely free and fully exposed.I can’t really take credit for deciding to wear it that way though, as it had been totally Richard’s idea, and also his idea for me to actually appear in public at his firm’s ‘do’ for, in his words “let the lads see what fantastic tits you’ve got Tania!”I must admit I was feeling rather nervous as I walked in on his arm, very conscious of the fact that without support or control they were bouncing and swinging slightly as I moved. I think every pair of eyes present, both male and female, were fixed on my naked boobs. Some were obviously loving the sight, mainly the men, and some were hating both my breasts and me, and they were mostly the women.The open hatred from the females didn’t worry me in. I made people feel like they had to like me, or at least fear me, to avoid becoming my next victim. I was huge - a six-foot-four linebacker, totally jacked and over two-hundred pounds. I was such a talented athlete, that most of my coaches saw me going pro, or at least playing D1 at a huge university stadium. Well... the ironic thing is that I hated myself. Once I hit adolescence, it didn’t take me long to realize I was attracted to men, and coming from a Christian background, the guilt and disgust I felt for myself was absolutely heart-wrenching. Plus, what kind of big manly football player was actually a closeted gay? I tried everything to convince myself I wasn’t gay. I even had a steady girlfriend, California, all throughout high school. She was gorgeous by any man’s standards, even a gay man’s, as well as kind and well-liked. Everyone in school thought her name was so cool, fitting, and matched her tanned skin and olive eyes perfectly. She was a real California girl, that was.
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