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I will admit that the dresses were beautiful (and nearly every girl at prom for two years running wore one) but they did not score points for being sexy.A month before prom, Kelly had made clear she was not available on the upcoming Saturday as she and her girlfriends were going dress shopping. What was most clear was that I was neither invited nor allowed to join them. Oh well. I resigned myself to knowing she would be wearing a pack-approved dress.I do have to acknowledge from Kelly’s perspective, though, that she would be stuck with a lifetime of having to view photographs that included a tall skinny guy in a God-forsaken tux with a hideous powder-blue jacket and color-tipped ruffles down the front of the shirt.Kelly and I made our very much not-of-today non-elaborate plans for prom: I bought tickets, made dinner reservations and ordered her flowers. She picked out my tux, bought shoes and bought a dress along with The Gang of Six. Kelly, Yvonne, Becca, Donna, Debbie, and Linda. ”Jack said, “You two don’t have to travel very far unless you want to.”John said, “What are you talking about, Dad?”Jack replied, “I’ve been kidnapped and my clothes stolen by a beautiful siren. My old bedroom is vacant due to my kidnapping.”I said, “He’s the most willing kidnap victim I’ve ever heard of in my life.”Jack said, “I just try to make the best of a challenging situation.”I said, “It’s good you didn’t say bad situation.”Jack said, “I’m a little crazy. I’m not stupid! Besides, you keep me warm at night.”I said, ‘I hope you find other positive things about my presence.”“Oh, I do! Your breasts are impossibly well-”“That’s quite enough information. You can try to convince me of your good intentions and appreciation of my presence later.”Becky, Pam, and John were cracking up listening to this. Pam said, “I would like to hear some of these other positive things about Sandy.” They were laughing loudly and heartily almost to the point of rolling on the floor.I said, “I think what.
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