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. somehow easier to face.”I nodded. I understood ritual. Why we do things a certain way, why religious services are carried out now as they have evolved over a thousand years and beyond, such as why ambitious bishops move on hoping a lowly curate would change her mind and follow him in her own good time. Ritual is all part of coping with what curve balls life throws at us.“So, tell me more about the tradition?” I asked, genuinely interested.“Yes, of course. My guests did not have as far as you to come and are already here in their glad rags and getting into party mood, and they do this because they love John, not because they do not know him very well. They are intoxicated by the occasion, as I said before, we do not eat or drink during the Pre Wake. John was the best of men and he has touched all our lives. Everyone in my family agrees that losing him to the insidious cancer that was eating him up from within was not the end that we would wish for the man I love more than I do my own. . "In fact, Jerry had tried it with men once or twice. Maybe even a few times more. Before hooking up with Carole, his first grand passion, he had gone through what he thought of as his "experimental" phase. For a period of several years, he had occasionally had encounters with men when he got horny enough in between girlfriends. He had discovered the exotic pleasures of anal sex, even letting himself be persuaded to take the passive role more often than not. The sensations were intense, sometimes frighteningly so. But, dammit, he liked women! Much more than men, actually. Waking up next to a warm, soft, feminine body was so comforting... There was something emotionally fulfilling in holding a warm, soft female body in my arms. Never again to have that. Never! Never?As a surgically-created woman, an artificial damsel, wouldn't that give me entry into that secret female world closed to men? Wouldn't it open new possibilities for meeting and, yes, even loving women? Might lesbian love.
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