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3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.4. Splash a little watered down rusty red paint on the sidewalk.5. Leave a note on your door that reads:"Bubba,Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.Anyway, I locked all four of 'em in the house.Better wait outside. Be right back.Cooter"These are compliments of Larry--A farmer had 3 lovely daughters, all who had dates on Friday night. One by one the local boys came by to pick them up.The first boy arrived and said: "Hi, I'm Eddie, I'm here for Betty, we're going steady, is she ready?"The farmer called Betty and she and Eddie went on their way.The second boy arrived and said: "Hi, I'm Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're going to the show, is she ready to go?"The farmer called Flo and she and Joe went on their way.The third boy. Horses whinnied in the stables, cows lowed in the barns, chickens clucked and dogs barked, yet the paths and lanes were empty. Where were the people?"Hallo good people!" Karl shouted. "We mean no harm. We are but travelers in your land. Come forth so we may meet and exchange pleasantries. Quaff a stein of good ale together, mayhap." Yes, please honor us with your presence," Merry added.Nightshade hunkered down in an effort to appear less imposing.Doors slowly opened, curtains were pulled away from windows and frightened faces began to peer out as a stout man dressed in magistrate's garb emerged from the village hall and walked toward them, his staff of office trembling in his hand."Good morrow travelers," he said with a slight tremor in his voice. "I bid thee welcome to the humble village of Barnbower. From whither do you come?" I am Prince Karl of Vard, this is my dear wife Princess Merry of Lancshire and our noble companion in adventure Nightshade. We do not bode thee ill; we only.
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