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I started to wonder what had happened during those two months that had left a trail of many tortuous years of cheap relationships, one-night stands, and broken hearts. One night, as I sat watching a lesbian porno flick on my VCR, a light clicked on. I realized that I watched girls with envy, not with lust. And even with this new realization, I remained fearful of resuming counseling. Was I unhappy as a man? I didn't know. I began to wonder about my own sexuality. Perhaps out of curiosity or fear or desperation, I began to explore the Internet, and I discovered an entire subculture of transgenderism that I'd never known about. I discovered a treasure trove of information about transsexuals and sex change operations. I found numerous sites of transgender fiction and I pored over the stories. I felt a curious satisfaction - the stories _felt_ good to read. It was as if something in me was being satisfied by those tales of magical and science-fiction sex changes - satisfied. “Not bad for a cuckold,” I sniggered. Wednesday had arrived; I loved our play night. “Have you washed your ass, have you looked at our toys?” came a shout from the bath, where my dominant wife lay naked, covered in bubbles. “Of course,” I replied, like I did every Wednesday I was now in a routine. “Put your blindfold on, kneel on your chair with your ass in the air and cuff yourself,” my wife demanded. “I thought I was not to wear the blindfold this week,” I pleaded, just in case she had forgotten. “Oh that’s right,” she recalled. “You will begin the night with it on and if you are a good boy I will remove it,” she whispered in my ear, “but for now resume your position.” I could not wait to get the party started but had to go through her ritual. Her phone rang, she went to the door, she then returned; verbally abused me, laughed, and then the role play began. “What one of you guys wants to fuck me first and who wants to fuck his ass?” she said out loud. I heard no reply but.
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