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And he wasn't the stud he thought he was. But why hurt his feelings? Why make it obvious my body, mind, and heart were constantly making the comparison to someone else? And that he wasn't up to par either? “Don't burn your house down until you've moved out of it,” used to say my mother. And I had no intention of moving... after all, he was a good guy. But then some nights that didn't weigh in his favor as much as it should have. I looked across the room and caught the reflection of the bed in the tall closet's mirrored doors just as it was: two people sharing a bed curled on opposite sides so far apart the sheet between them was pulled taught. Looked like a flipping tent. Then my mind almost as if on purpose, to underline the contrast between past and present, pulled up a memory of another man, myself and our reflection in that same mirror. So different... I had called him after work and we'd gone out for drinks. Or so was the plan. We ended up bumping into some acquaintances and. He wanted to call her and ask her what was going on, but when he did she was never home. He couldn't bring himself to leave a message.One day during lunch time she was there, standing with her loser friends, Matt thought. His friends pointed her out to him, saying that she was really fucked up now and it was all his fault."Shut up," he said to their teasing. He hoped that wasn't the case."Go talk to her," said Erik. "I thought you were friends with her. You said you were." I am. I will!" he replied testily. What the hell, he thought, going up to her and standing next to her."Uh, hi." Hi," she responded. Her friends ignored him."So what's up?" Nothing," she responded, not looking at him."Well... Um, I was just wondering, if you're okay... " What?" Well, I mean, why you're acting all different... " I don't know what the hell you're talking about," she said, annoyed, not looking at him while she listened to what her friends were saying."Oh, I mean, I don't know," he mumbled. "Sorry... ".
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