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"No. They're all at the funeral."--A Cape Bretoner walked into a crowded local bar, waving his Colt 45 with an 8 shot clip and yelled,"Who in here has been screwing my wife?"A Newfie from the back of the bar yelled back,"You're gonna need more ammo!"WHILE ON A ROAD TRIP, AN ELDERLY COUPLE, STOPPED AT A PIZZA HUT FOR LUNCH.AFTER FINISHING THEIR MEAL, THEY LEFT THE RESTAURANT, AND RESUMED THEIR TRIP TO PHOENIX.WHEN LEAVING, THE ELDERLY WOMAN UNKNOWINGLY LEFT HER GLASSES ON THE TABLE, AND SHE DIDN'T MISS THEM UNTIL THEY HAD BEEN DRIVING FOR ABOUT FORTY MINUTES.BY THEN, TO ADD TO THE AGGRAVATION, THEY HAD TO TRAVEL QUITE A DISTANCE BEFORE THEY COULD FIND A PLACE TO TURN AROUND, IN ORDER TO RETURN TO THE RESTAURANT TO RETRIEVE HER GLASSES.ALL THE WAY BACK, THE ELDERLY HUSBAND BECAME THE CLASSIC GROUCHY OLD MAN. HE FUSSED AND COMPLAINED, AND SCOLDED HIS WIFE RELENTLESSLY DURING THE ENTIRE RETURN DRIVE. THE MORE HE CHIDED HER, THE MORE AGITATED HE BECAME. HE JUST WOULDN'T LET UP FOR A. I dated a few girls, but never made a connection with any of them. I don't know how to describe it, but certain girls just click with me. They either have it or they don't. Most, it seems, don't have that special something. It wasn't about beauty, either. Heck, Sym wasn't the prettiest girl on campus. A lot of guys would tell you she was a "Plain Jane." But to me, she had that something that set her apart from the others. I was pretty sure I wouldn't settle for less now that I knew the difference. Sym did write regularly and I tried to respond to each letter. I think I did pretty well at staying even on letters.At the beginning of my third year in college, I met another girl that had "it." I had been using the student fitness centre regularly, stopping in each morning before class. If I got up by six, I could have breakfast, drive to the campus and hit the exercise equipment for forty-five minutes or so, then shower and head to class. It was a routine I followed each weekday and I.
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