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The elder said “If I may give you some advice you might get your bike back. Next Sunday preach on the 10 Commandments and when you get to ‘Thou shall not steal’ really emphasise it”.Well the next week they met again and the young pastor was once again riding his bike.“Well “ said the older one “I see my advice worked”. “Yes” the young pastor replied “I took your advice and preached on the 10 Commandments and when I got to ‘Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery’ I remembered where I’d left my bike!”Johnny’s teacher is giving a lesson on nutrition, and she decides to ask her students what they had for breakfast. To add a spelling component, she asks the students to also spell their answers.Susan puts up her hand and says she had an egg “E-G-G” “Very good” says the teacher.Peter says he had toast “T-O-A-S-T?” “Excellent”.Johnny has his hand up and the teacher reluctantly calls on him. “I had bugger all” he says “ B-U-G-G-E-R-A-L-L”. The teacher is mortified and scolds Johnny for his rude. The lazy bastard said nothing just drove in silence and smoked an obnoxious cigar. I asked if he could put it out while I was in the cab. All he did was open the window between the front and back wider. He turned and blew smoke my direction. As he was an enormous man, I held my tongue. I wanted to call him a stupid nigger, but I'm not that dumb.At last we pulled up to the curb outside my house. I opened the door and stumbled out of the cab to my feet. I stood there wobbling around for a moment then closed the door. Leaning down I put my head in the front passenger window."Keep the change," I said as I handed the driver a fifty. The obnoxious fumes from the cigar filled my nose and lungs. I turned from the cab and walked in a careful, slow march toward my door on wobbly feet. I fumbled with my key as I made my way from the cab. All I wanted for the rest of my night was to beat my wife senseless and fucking the shit out of her. I stumbled up the porch stairs. I rested my head on the.
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