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I slowly realised whata nice guy he was. I still hung around with all the other guys as well,though.See, I was a total tomboy when I was little, playing football, runningaround in the mud, climbing trees, all that. But when I started growingup it wasn't exactly the same any more. I still hung out with the boys,but they were interested in different things then. They'd be tellingstupid sex jokes, talking about snogging, trying to shock me I think,maybe trying to shock each other too. But I just played along. I waslike, "Hey, look what I've got. Wanna touch them?"I went through a phase of, "It doesn't matter. They're only boobs. Whocares if some guy wants to play with them?" I thought they were jerks, abit. They didn't want to play football with me any more, but they wantedto look at my chest. But I didn't care. We hung out. Some guy or otheralways had a bottle of something or some ciggies he'd nicked off hisparents and we fooled around and had a lot of laughs. At parties I wasalways. Leukemia. Aggressive, advanced and nearly incurable. I wanted to kill them for butting in the nearly. For letting us hope. John stayed by my side through all of it. He never failed to be there for my therapy, and was always on the phone to people, who were talking about all kinds of cures. But I was growing weaker and weaker, getting thinner and thinner, feeling more dead than ever. But what John just came home to tell me is, that I have stopped responding to my treatment. I’m going to die. ”I’m sorry, Baby,” John says. He put his head in his hands and sits on the end of the bed by my feet. I come up behind him, wrapping my arms round his neck, just breathing him in, because he makes me feel so alive. He sighs and puts his hands over top of mine. ”There is nothing you could have done,” I say to him, comforting. He doesn’t seem convinced. He seems like he wants to walk to earth to find a cure that might not even exist. He turns around and kisses me, gently because he’s afraid to.
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