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I know my best friend might not understand, but I think I had to hold onto it because if I didn’t then it puts it all on me. I had to believe that there is a little bit of good in my ex-boyfriend. If there wasn’t any good in him, if he didn’t care about me at all then what did that say about me. I had to believe that he had no idea that the guy would rape me. I had to believe that he would never want me hurt like that. Everyday it gets harder to believe that he had any feelings for me at all. Everyday I believe it less, but if he didn’t love me, if he didn’t have any feelings for me, then all the things I did just made me that much more a slut. But what hurts the most is that my best friend believes he knew about my rape, and my best friend believes that even worse he got even with me and her for reporting my rape by getting his friends to rape her.”As I was explaining this I couldn’t help but cry because I was finally saying the one thing I had tried to block out, the one. . With another story that happened longtime back….. It was a Friday, the end of the working day & as I was single at that time , the best thing I could find to entertain myself on Friday was go to a bar and have some beer. As I ordered the beer I saw a sexy gal, sitting opposite me. The beer hit my head after a hard work day and I got more relaxed and free-minded, so I just took my beer mug and approached her table. Without asking for a permission to take a seat, I plunged into a chair and smiled. “hi, I’m jai and i hate drinking beer by myself”, I said and gave her even a broader smile. “I am priya and i hate it when guys try to hit on me”, she answered and smiled ironically. Priya was a hard nut to crack and i understood it. She probably brushed guys off pretty easily so i lost my confidence for a second, but then remembered a wise saying, i don’t remember who said it but it sounded like that: “a woman is like a fortress and a professional general will always find a way to conquer.
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