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The conservative says, "Who stole half my water?"The fanatic thinks the glass is completely full, even though it isn't.The physicist says that the glass is not empty at all - it is half-filled with water and half-filled with air.The politician says that's not my glass, mine was bigger.The drinker says "Who's buying the next round?"The poor person says "I'd rather have a glass half-empty than no glass at all."The rich person says "You can have whatever water trickles over the edge"The drunk says: Which glass?The Plumber says: You've got a leak.This one is compliments of DonYou Might Be A Conservative if...You've named your kids "Deduction one" and"Deduction two."You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend"You've ever tried to prove Jesus was a capitalist and opposed to welfare.You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.The. "Tell me Willard, have you found any of the women to your liking?" Willard sputtered a few times before he answered, "Sir, I couldn't do a thing like that without them feeling that I was forcing them. With my position I believe they would fear for their job and say yes, even if they didn't want to."Tom nodded his head. "I've never let that bother me. If they don't want to be with you I think that you will be able to tell easily enough. But you didn't answer the question, did you? Isn't there one of them that you find interesting?"Tom sneaked a glance at Willard and saw that he had his head bowed and his eyes shut, "Yes sir, there is one. But, I don't think that you would approve." Tom was curious now but waited and prodded with silence. Willard quickly understood that Tom was waiting.With a heavy sigh he spoke so softly he could barely be heard over the escaping steam. "As much as it embarrasses me to admit, I find that young Jess attracts me. She is so innocent and fresh, but her.
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