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We had come close once, a miscarriage I thought a curse at the time — now, a blessing. To drag a child through it all would have created monstrous therapist bills, and pain that would never go away. Nine years of marriage, four of it fighting a divorce, gone to waste. It was difficult to remember how we once felt, when we thought we would conquer the world together. ‘I’ had been replaced with ‘we’ and now back to ‘I.’ Women were off my list, at least for the foreseeable future. I dated once during the separation, and it turned out badly. I had thought she knew I was in the middle of divorce. She had thought me unmarried in more than mind. ‘Hate’ was the word she used. It struck deep and scared me off the dating scene. It was an easy thing to forgo. I sucked at dating. As I neared my car, my phone vibrated in my pocket. It was Carl, a good friend, one of my true compatriots who suffered with me these last four years. He hated Bitch Barrow almost as much as I. Intellectually, I knew. About Carol, thank you for being her father and mother last night. I'm not very proud of myself on any grounds today. But you know I love our daughter and I do thank you for taking such good care of her. I am ashamed I wasn't there to help. I am coming home now. I truthfully don't know why I did what I did last night. Yesterday it seemed so important, today I can't see why."I cut in and said, "Cause you are a fucking cock crazy slut and lying piece of shit. I am going to go pack. I will be gone in an hour." No John please, I will be right there, five minutes, we have to talk." and I had a dial tone.I got my luggage out of the garage and went to the bedroom and started packing. It is strange to try to pack for an indefinite stay, business trips are easy. But I was planning on being gone forever, that was hard to fathom. As I packed I called Tony, all I said to him was "Change of plans boss, do you still want me to run the Brouden facility?"When he answered positively I told him I was.
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