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’ With extreme difficulty I made my way thereand ended up in front of crystallized ginger and icingsugar. The cake making aisle. It was in danger of makingme think of my mother. Noooooo!I stood and concentrated hard on Joe. His voice wasfaster now, panting. ‘Just take a look along the centre ofthe aisle, and you’ll see glace cherries. Gorgeous aren’tthey? Round and red, glistening cherries. The best thing todo with those little babies is to lay on your back on the bedand have them, one by one, pushed inside you. Boy dothose little sweeties pop in easily. Trouble is, once they’rethere, you need to get them out. The best thing is forsomeone to kneel down and put their tongue inside thatjuicy little gash. The first ones almost pop out, the nextones require a good long suck and the last ones need aseriously hard fingering.’ With memories of the cream stillfresh in my mind, I couldn’t take it any longer. I wascreaming so hard myself I was worried I might make apuddle on the floor. The. Um ... condition you end up in.”“You’d better hope so,” said Mom.By now I was pretty curious about why she was acting that way. I looked at Uncle Bob, who was still looking at Mom, smiling.“So when can you do it?” I asked, all chipper.“How about tonight?” he asked. “Just before bed. That way if there’s any razor burn, you won’t be walking around irritating it.”“Razor burn?” I asked, suddenly worried.“I’ll use a new razor,” he said. “You’ll be fine. Trust me. I’m an expert at this.”By that night, of course, I had told Shannon what was going to happen, and she wanted to lose the hair too, so when it was time, we both showed up. Brinn had no interest in seeing us lose the hair, so he went into the living room and turned on the TV. Mom was there, though, which didn’t seem odd to us. Of course now I realize she was keeping an eye on Uncle Bob. I fully understand why she was there, but I don’t think it worked out quite how she thought it would. I think that because she was there, Uncle Bob.
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