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There was some magic to Phill'swarm touch that calmed me down.I didn't even know which part of his original remark had cut deeper:That he suggested I wasn't a real man when I didn't know to applymakeup. Or that he reminded me that I was half an orphan. Or that heimplied my father - a big strong man, decidedly rooted in my originalreality - was like the... the... faggot-men in this bizarro world!I sobbed again when I realized I just called myself a faggot in my ownmind. But I wasn't! I was a man! Who did manly things! Like...Manly things, like sashaying in heels, wearing tons of lipstick in myface, being a pretty fuckbuddy for a woman... So I wasn't gay! I wasstraight. Totally normal in this world. I didn't need men to console...Ah, now that was wrong. I needed someone. This redhead goth boy with hisbig testes and his long erection and his ridiculous black leathergarments was my best friend ever who'd known me for many years.I hiccuped. My best friend for many years. For at least half. I excused myself to the men's room. On the way back to the table, I felt that pit back in my stomach wondering if someone, like maybe Derek, would be there talking to Becky. It turned me on and worried me at the same time.When I could see our booth from a distance, I could tell Becky was talking to someone. 'Crap, it's got to be him,' I thought. I sneaked around where she couldn't see me. I hated spying, but I wanted to be prepared for what I might see.'Whew', it wasn't Derek, it was a woman. She was sitting in the booth talking with Becky. 'I'll just head over there and see who she is,' I thought, more relaxed now. But as I watched for another second, I noticed Becky was really smiling a lot and they were both laughing. 'Who was this chick?' I think I whispered but might have just been in my head. I watched a little longer.She was very pretty and older than us by maybe eight to ten years. She was quaffed, with hair and makeup and jewelry and very well dressed. She was sexy. I went to.
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