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Something worse. A cold, black smell. The kind of smell that she imagined that shadows would have if they had a scent.Tears were starting to streak down her cheeks. She wouldn’t bawl, she was eight years old and she believed her dad when he said that eight-year olds don’t bawl.Don’t cry.The voice surprised her. She looked around, but only saw the walls of the abandoned, dried up well.It’s okay, child.The voice sounded like it was everywhere around her.“Who are you?” She asked, her fear only mounting.A friend. The voice said. It was, indeed, friendly-sounding. Soft, and low. It reminded her of the sound a cello made. My name is Largo. The voice said its name in soft of a goofy tone that Vivian couldn’t help but smile a little at.“Where are you?” Vivian asked.I’m all around you, here, see? Suddenly, the shadow directly in front of her moved. It crawled up the stone bricks of the well in a pair of weird, flat tendrils. She was scared again now, but then the tendrils changed their shape.. They were something like a gang, fiercely loyal and combative and secretive and united above all by a hatred of society. And I wanted to be one of them.It was a miserable day in June when I gathered up my courage. Rainy, but the hot, sticky kind that only serves to make you sluggish and anxious and maybe give you a headache. College had let out, but I was killing brain cells all the same as a grocery store cashier. I pushed myself through morning with the thought of my midday cig break, but it was hardly a relief once it came, slumped out back behind the store in the sticky heat, dumpsters festering beside me. I felt sick and dizzy, and the cigarette was like a cheap knock-off of nepenthe, just barely enough to dull the urge to slit my throat with my “Hello, my name is” pin. I felt anxious and uneasy and uncomfortable, like there was an itch stuck underneath my skin that wouldn’t go away. I kind of felt like jacking off behind the dumpster, too, but I’m not sure if it was more.
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