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Part of my fear was that I was the only one who thought that way. In asense that is true. According to statistics in the Netherlands aboutone child in eleven thousand births is a male to female transsexual andone child in twelve thousand is a female to male transsexual.There are other things that bother me. I cannot now or ever give birth.When she was pregnant my now ex-wife told me about how the baby wasmoving in her. Her description of what she was feeling inside herincluded a smile on her face that told me of the joy she wasexperiencing. I was happy for her and happy for me who was becomingthat child?s father, but I needed to experience that miracle from herperspective. Unless a miracle happens I will never experience the joyof knowing I am pregnant or feeling that baby kick or giving birth.My former supervisor told me that what I missed was no big deal, butshe had the choice and she gave birth. I never will. No one except afew that are like me that I have given love to and receive. Nali and Elizabeth could feel how weak Ray was, it felt almost as if he'd expended almost all of his energy.Damn it! Nali thought then was surprised where had that come from, she'd warned Ray that he only had so much energy though to Nali it appeared he was far beyond where he had been when she first entered him.Nali whispered to Elizabeth, Shaking a moment, Elizabeth was scared only for a moment. She loved Ray far more than she'd let on though she had a feeling that Nali did also, perhaps that was why their energies were so compatible? Unsure of how to talk to Nali Elizabeth was hesitant to try. I know I agreed to help her thereby helping me, and I'd do almost anything for Ray, but I'm so unsure of what to do she thought. Nali started again, Nali told Elizabeth.Ray could feel both of them tugging at him bringing him once again close to the surface, thing is it was so peaceful here no stress, no worry, couldn't they just leave him there for a while longer? With a final tug they both.
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