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I could tell she resented me for the pain I caused. I deserved all of it, of course. But I couldn't take the thought of keeping her caged in unhappiness when she deserved to be someone's one and only. To be someone's dearest love and not just my "second choice." After I succumbed to my foolish weaknesses, our relationship became obsolete. There was nothing to try and save, no matter how much we both wanted to make it all work out. I couldn't make her happy and setting her free was the best thing I could do for her. Even if it did hurt the both of us. It's better this way though. I can't even make myself cheerful at the littlest things now. How was I going to maintain a happy relationship when I'm hell bent on giving myself nothing but punishment?It's so sad that I let someone break me like this. Causing my life to turn upside down and make me hate life as well as myself. I can't even believe in myself anymore. I've lost the desire to create and bring laughter to others. I can't. I expect your daddy willspank you when he gets home." WHAT?" In my days..."I remember her celebrating sixty years the last winter. Then her dayswere some fifty years ago."In my days," she says with some longing in her voice. "The studentbringing home the pink punishment slip could expect a thorough strappingfrom their father." What? Why?" Never mind," she says and handles me the signed slip. "It's a differenttime now. O tempora, o mores!"I'm back to the office with the signed slip and my mom here. Mom signsthe slip and then signs the journal. She takes my hand in hers and leadsme to the parking lot."How do you feel?" she asks me when we are already in the car."It hurts," I say."That's good. I hope you have learned your lesson." What lesson?" Don't forget to put your bra on." Why would I? Has everybody gone crazy today? I AM A BOY, MOM!" I know. You're my son for sixteen years. The never happy sulking boy allthose sixteen years. Yes, I remember. Sixteen years is like a sentencefor.
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