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“Michael, you know I love you but it’s nine on a Sunday morning and Pete was working his kisses down my body, and he’d only reached my belly button.”I laughed, “Liar, liar, pants on fire. At nine on a Sunday morning, Pete will be standing on the third tee. So who’s the lover in your bed as if I didn’t know?”“Damn, you know me too well, Samantha say hi to your uncle, Michael.”“Hi, Uncle Mike,” came the seven-year old’s voice.“Hi Sam,” I replied.Lucy asked, “So what can I do for you, or have you finally agreed to become my lover.”I heard an indignant ‘Mummy’ from the background as I laughed. “No, as much as that’s a very attractive offer.” I became serious and said, “It’s a bit more urgent than that. I need you to see a friend of mine. She badly needs your professional help.”Lucy’s voice went hard. “Just how serious, and how urgent is it?”I put my hand over the phone and asked Jane, “How much can I say?”She said, “I’ve got no secrets anymore.”I spoke back into the phone, “Urgent and. It’s old hat. She’s gorgeous, and he’s gorgeous, and they like each other like gorgeous people are supposed to like each other, and it’s just boring.”“So what would you suggest we do instead?” came the voice. I think it was an automatic response. Somebody had trashed their lovely idea, and they wanted to fix it.“Well,” I started. “The supermodel is fine. Everybody loves looking at a supermodel. But the guy she falls for should be something weird, like a midget or a dwarf or something. And maybe he’s the guy who waxes her father’s big fancy cars. Then there can be this “I don’t believe how attracted I am to this little freak, but I am and I can’t help it and what am I going to do?” stuff. You can have all this interplay between them, showing how attracted she is to him, but how they can’t be together out in front of everybody, so she manages to make all these trips to the garage to see him while he washes a Mercedes, or a Bently or something. Think of how funny it would be when he.
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