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The only other time I'd seen him cry was when the children were born."Love?" I can ... feel them, Nala. Hear them. Calling to me." What? Feel who? Let me call for a healer. Just stay still, Aedan."I screamed into the hallway for a healer; there was always a guard just around the corner to keep people out of the family chambers, and I knew he'd hear. I returned to Aedan, wrapping my arms around him, holding him until Bain entered. He'd been recruited to the Grey Wardens a decade ago, and had saved my Aedan from death a handful of times. I sighed in relief. He took Aedan from me, laid him on the couch, and shooed me out of the room with the others who'd come at my frantic summons. Zev was there, face lined with worry much as mine was. Our eyes locked, and for the first time since we'd met nearly three decades before, I understood him exactly. Almost unconsciously we reached for each other's hands and held on for dear life.Later, outside our bedroom where Aedan slept, Bain finally. Stars or male school mates, with about equal frequency to the women/girls in my fantasies.In the fall of 1978, with hormones really charging through the old bloodstream, I started developing crushes on many cute girls... AND also on many cute boys. I remember the time distinctly because it coincided with the premiere of the original BATTLESTAR GALACTICA television series (the series starring Loren Greene that had it’s premiere interrupted by Jimmy Carter and the signing of the Camp David Peace Accord between Israel & Egypt and, yeah, I was pissed about it then. It still tweaks me even today, really.)Anyway…I didn't know anything about love and sex then (well, except for what I'd learned from Dad's magazines), but I knew that boys liking boys was not considered normal. That didn't keep me from masturbating to fantasies about my school mates, male or female.And, needless to say, I was young, so I was masturbating. A LOT.My first real sexual experience would be with a boy, when I stayed.
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