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Phyllis DillerHousework can't kill you, but why take a chance?Phyllis DillerCleaning house while your kids are growing up is like shovelling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.Phyllis DillerThe reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.Phyllis DillerBest way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.Phyllis DillerA bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.Phyllis DillerI want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.Phyllis DillerMost children threaten to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.Phyllis DillerAny time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.Phyllis DillerWe spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.Phyllis DillerBurt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.Phyllis DillerWhat. Of course we are always talking about funny or sexy things about sex. We got on the topic of cum and if she liked to swallow and she of course does, and how id love to see her swallow some cum. She was sitting on the couch across from me and i could see up her skirt and it just made me horny as fuck and i asked her if we could do something crazy. So i told her the next time her bf comes over suck his cock in your room and ill watch through the curtain she had as a door and jack off, and when he cum's in your mouth come out like your going to spit it out but spit it into mine and ill swallow it. She of course got all horny thinking about that and she said she would totally do it. So the next time he came i was gaming on the tv and they were in their room fooling around and she came out for some water and winked at me on the way by and i knew what it meant. I gave it a minute and then slowly crept down the dark hallway and just looked through a hole in the sheet, and just as i did that.
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