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I became accustomed to our routine; when I would get there, we would talk for a little bit, and have a soda, or some fruit, or something. Then we’d go over to his large sofa, and turn on the TV to watch a show, or a movie, and either start cuddling right away, or do something else I liked; sometimes Paul would let me rub his back, which I loved to do, or I would sit on the floor and he would sit on the couch, and he would brush and play with my hair for a long, long time. I wasn’t old enough to know what to do about it, but I would be very aroused this whole time, and I was developing a huge crush on Paul. At home, things were the same—I was still getting beatings, getting yelled at, and never being touched, except when I was being hit. One morning, what I’d come to think of as “a no-school morning”, I got up and Dad was in a bad mood. I accidentally brushed against him in the kitchen, and he said I did it intentionally, and hit me. I fell into the refrigerator, and knocked. I know it doesn't seem fair to you but you are so smart and you have a unique look on things I have come to depend on. They feel the same way and they are scared of what will happen to them after Tran and I get married. Honey, I know you're proud to be adopted into the Team but the girls are your team too and you are their leader. Without Butter and the rest, the members of our family are our own team, and we always help each other as we grow and become one with each other. Take some time for them too, honey. I know you are hesitant about having a ready-made family and are still adjusting yourself, and that's my fault. I am sorry I threw you into all of this so fast but those two and Tran love you and want to be your family as much as I want us all to be. Please think about what I have told you and remember, I love you and always will."She sat turned looking at me and I saw tears starting to come out of the corners of her eyes and she just hugged me, crying on my shoulder. She wasn't.
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