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Y’know, like a relationship or anything, but…’ She put a finger to my lips hushing me. ‘ Just a fuck, right?’ she said. I nodded. She smiled. ‘That’ll do for me as well. Only there are two things.’ ‘ Go on,’ I replied. ‘ Okay first, this is your call, right? You want sex, I’m gonna agree. But at some time in the future it might be the other way round. I might be the horny one and I might come to you looking for satisfaction. You’ve got to agree to returning the future as and when I ask. Deal?’ ‘No problem. Whats the second thing?’ ‘The second thing is I started my period yesterday, so you aint going there tonight. But if you fancy it…..’ she ran her hand through my hair and stared deep into my eyes, her breath hot and scented on my face, ‘ You can be the first man to have anal sex with me.’ Fancy it? My pants were around my ankles almost before she had stopped speaking. My wife – ex-wife, I should say – hated the thought of getting her arse poked. I couldn’t even get my finger there.. “I apologize for my appearance. I’ve been rather preoccupied of late.”“Jean de Carrouges is French, what brings the French to England?”“It is Sir Jean, my Lord Earl,” Jean corrected him, “What brought the English to France?”“I am not here to debate Politics with you, good sir,” Percy said with disdain evident in his smug voice. “I am here to demand your surrender. In exchange, I guarantee you and your men of noble birth will be held as my guests and ransomed accordingly. Your men-at-arms will be disarmed and executed.”Jean laughed. “Is that so, well, I have a counteroffer for you, your Highness, or Majesty. I’m sorry, I don’t quite know how to address the King of the Isle of Mann. You take your army and turn around and go back home. Get on your boat and sail home to Mann and live out your life, grow old and fat and fuck your wife until your balls fall off. Or, you can come into this valley and die. We won’t ransom your noblemen. We will kill you all, regardless of your birthrank,.
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