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But luckily she was my next roll number. Which means she will be my side at every time.Time has flown easily we came to second semester. We became good friends too.It was our lab she came in green chudidhaar. I don’t like disrespect a girl. But I like her lips, boobs,cheeks and her ass a lot.Most of boys always stare at her boobs and her ass.As usually she sat beside I was unable to control my urges . She also caught me staring at boobs. Then in trick of wanting some equipment I touched her boobs.She didn’t say anything, but I could sense her shivering and shocking expression in face. Later even coming out of the lab, she caught me staring at her.She: why are staring at me?Me: you are so beautiful today.She: that mean don’t I look good every day.Me: nothing like that, I always stare at you. But today I was unable to control.She: so, u stare at me everyday. Idiot don’t talk to me. How dare to you to say that.Me: yes. It took me months to tell this.But as I said I was unable to control. Mom, I really tried to love them all, but they couldn’t handle my wild heart. So if it’s just been sex, and all my unselfish gestures go to waste eventually, where do I turn now? It’s always been about him. Whether it was this ‘him’, or that ‘him’, didn’t really matter. I’ve poured myself into making it ‘work’ over and over only accomplishing to tear a hole in some guy’s heart and leave myself drained and devastated. I’ve spent the better part of my adulthood trying to convince my spirit that life was easier with a man by my side. At the cost of many self sacrificial moves, I’ve buried myself again, along with any resolution to my current conundrum. I found a needle in a pile of hay a couple days ago. I immediately thought of you. One day I’ll tell you about my sketch of a woman on a broken hay bale. Slumped, her head in her hands probably hiding tears, she envisions a needle. How did you find me and shine light into my mind where the darkness was once more prevailing? All the doubt.
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