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The temperament of the water always guides me: it rages, I am over excited: if it is lazy and tame, I take my time to feel every sensation.I pay attention to the edge of the trail; it is a very steep drop off. Below, the angry river would pull me down, completely entering all of me with its deadly wetness. Streams of water washing over every ounce of my skin, like a million tongues tasting me before entering my throat and taking my breath away. How seductive and intoxicating the danger of water is.I find the bridge that leads over a small stream to the beginning of my trail. I walk steadily across, glancing over the edge at the meager water before. No danger here besides the height. I scoff at this pitiful water and continue. There is a lovers' tree that marks the right path. Initials scrawled all over the aching tree and I wonder if the lovers stopped to think how the tree felt as they harshly carved their innocent initials into the base.I see a fallen tree coming up on my path. And. I loved the feeling of being naked in the middle of my apartment. I kept wondering, who were those people watching us in the other apartment? Did they know Gina? What would it have felt like to have them in this room with us, making love alongside of us, perhaps joining us? My head spun. It was all too much to take in at once. What was I feeling inside–hurt, excitement, jealousy, intrigue? Suddenly I was overcome with a longing to feel others’ bodies next to mine. I couldn‘t get it out of my head. I decided to take a shower. How long had it been since I took a really sensual shower? I decided today it was time to worship my body—to make it tingle with pleasure and erotic release. As I stepped into my tub and drew the curtain, hot water trickled down through my hair, running off to slide down my shoulder blades, over my chest, soaking the hairs that covered it. I grabbed a fresh bar of glycerine soap and closed my eyes once again. I wanted to pretend that this soap was someone else’s.
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