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And reflexively she raised the bottle to her mouth again and drank deeply, coughing slightly as the hot liquid fired her belly. She was beginning to feel numb again, and wondered if she shouldn't stop drinking, because she wanted a clear head when she finally found her daughter and/or David Preston. Or did she? Did she really want to be perfectly aware of what was going on, what veneer she was going to have to paint on herself in order to act the proper mother toward Wendy--when after last night she knew that she wasn't that kind of person underneath? No, no she wanted to be a little high so that the play-acting could be easier, and so that she wouldn't have to think about her own guilt so much... Once more she tilted the cognac bottle, and it felt good and warm and comforting inside her, and she began to feel better, much better, able to handle the situation, whatever it might be... They passed the old landing site for the Prohibition rum- runners, and then the sprawling Garbonzo. I am sure my memory exaggerates the actual conditions, but it seemed like I was dripping sperm for hours. I remember changing panties four times that day.“Later that afternoon, Matt and I were sitting on the edge of the pool by ourselves and he suggested that we repeat our sexual adventures that evening. Some small bit of sanity had reached my brain, and I told he we could not risk having sex in the house again, it was too chancy. That was my ineffective attempt to tell him ‘no’, but he countered by suggesting that we go to Derek’s apartment and do it there. He assured me Derek would be out and that no one would bother us. I asked how I would explain our absence to my parents and he had an answer for that, too. He said I could tell them Derek had invited us to a pool party and bar-b-que. I couldn’t find any serious fault with his plans, or maybe I didn’t really want to and, once again, my self imposed form of peer pressure simply would not permit me to refuse to go with him..
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