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Yeah, I do. I know what that means. And I have to be clear. I'll never love you the way people wanting to be together their whole lives will think of it. But I do. I love you. I haven't loved a lot of people in this life. But I know it. I have felt it. Just a few times. Once has been with you." Can we make love, Loren? Can we do that?" Yes. Yes, we can. Some things. Just some things, okay? I've thought about it a lot, man. I have heard all the words and stuff. Gay and bi and all that stuff. I don't know what it all means, really. I just know I can't get excited about men. But, I can try to be excited with you, Brandon. I can do that."And they came together in their arms. Kissing softly and gently. Brandon was eager and Lorenzo was open. He was trying to give himself to Brandon as best he could. It was not all that could have been. But perhaps it would be enough. For Brandon something, anything, was better than nothing. He loved Lorenzo.They separated there and went into the bedroom. All she talked about, all she planned. She evenstarted calling herself Dev, as in Devon, instead of Deb, or Debbie.But mine wasn't the only transition going on in our house. She waschanging, too. She was wearing pants all the time. Boxers. She wasdrinking beer and watching baseball. When we went somewhere, she had todrive. She was more aggressive, more mannish.I don't know much about female-to-male transexuals. I don't know ifthat's really what a shrink would diagnose Deb, er, Dev as being. But asshe pushed me toward a female persona, she was gravitating toward themale. I expected her to start peeing standing up any day now.Take that first day, for instance. Dev spent six hours at the mall thatday, and when she came back, the first thing I noticed was that she hadwhacked off her beautiful brown hair. It was short, a page-boy cut. Verybutch. No makeup at all.She dumped an armful of packages on the couch. "Presents for my wife,"she said."Deb. Dev, let's don't do this." Oh, shush,.
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