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He is a good man." There followed a long silence. Finally she spoke again. "But........." she said letting the silence speak volumes for her. "Though I have tried as hard as I can" she said with obvious effort of will "I cannot love him. I do not love him." She took another sip and set down her cup. "I do not know why. There is something wrong with me. I must live with a man I do not love." She looked up at me with an emptiness in her eyes seemed to go on forever; an emptiness that seemed to plead for compassion, for absolution "I live with a man I do not love. That makes me a whore, James. That is why I do the drugs." I wanted to touch her, to hold her and tell her everything was going to be okay, but it woud have been a lie. "No, Anita," I said, trying to sound convincing. "You are not a whore..." "I AM A WHORE" she suddenly shouted slaming her fist down on the table. For a woman so beautiful, the intense anger I saw flash in her eyes at that moment was. ..” I took her by the shoulders, looked at her, reached down, and kissed her. She was surprised, but she was pleased. She responded by slowly opening her lips and closing our embrace with no qualms. It was spectacular. I had never done anything like that in my life. I have always been cautious, getting to know people slowly, and generally being very shy. With Esmeralda, the warm season, her ebony skin so contrasting with my New York pale skin, her scented body, her young age vs. my middle age, and her carefree attitude…it was something that I was caught up, a whirlwind of lust and attraction that couldn’t be helped. We kissed, and though I was self-conscious, nobody seemed to pay us mind as they walked by. Her embrace had transferred some of the sticky ice juice from my clothes to her, but we smiled. I asked her if she wanted to go with me. She nodded, “Si. Oh, si!” without a hint of a pause. We got to my car, arm in arm. I drove with her, our hands clenched as I drove hurriedly to.
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