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“Jean Machine!” Daddy called out. He had been sitting at the breakfast table, but had likely stood when our guest had arrived. Levi let out an obligatory laugh as my father clasped his hand. “I’m John.” “Lily,” Mom said, appearing at her husband’s side and offering Levi a delicate hand. “Pleased to meet you,” he said, bowing ever so slightly over her hand. “Thank you for having me.” Mom broke out her prize-winning smile, and I knew that Levi had already won her over. “Our pleasure.” “I hope it’s not too late for me to make the sangria?” Levi said. “It’s about the only thing I make well.” “Oh, not at all,” Mom said. “Dinner should be another twenty minutes. Nora, honey?” “On it!” I said. I winked at Levi as I skipped into the kitchen. I pulled out a couple cutting boards, knives, and a pitcher and laid them on the counter next to the ingredients. Then I turned to Levi as he entered the kitchen behind me and smiled. “Awaiting instructions.” Levi and I took the next five to ten minutes. " Don't be stupid!" I blurted out in shock.What the flying fuck was she talking about? Did she honestly think I was going to toss myself off in front of her? I was her Son for Christ sakes. There was no way I could do that even if I wanted to. How was I supposed to get an erection in front of her? Hell, even the very thought of her seeing my wang and walnuts was enough to give me a bad case of erectile dysfunction.Mom stepped in front of me. "Henry Peterson," she said in that 'I'm not taking any of your shit' way she had, "You will do exactly as I tell you, young man. Doctor Meadows has told you what you have to do and if you don't, I sure as heck will. Now, have your testicles started to ache again since the last time?"Uh, actually. That was in the affirmative. Game over, man. Game Over."No," I said turning crimson, "Well, yes. Maybe. A little."What the hell was all this? It felt like I was in some sort of Twilight fucking Zone. Had Mom lost her mind? Mom's and sons just didn't do.
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