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.."I have never told him that he shouldn't do it if he could. The door is still open to him. But if he were able to find a cure - to produce sperm of his own and get them inside of me - I might not be a willing participant in the process.In fact, I would want him to take the decision out of my hands.I know exactly what it would feel like. He almost did it to me a few years ago, when we thought that we could get pregnant by ordinary means. However, he pulled out at the last second - a decision that made me furious at the time; a decision for which I have chewed him out many times in the intervening years.But - as much as I hate to admit it - it was the right decision at the time.Now, however, he knows that I really do want him to take the decision and that I will gladly live with the results. As long as it's his child, if he wants it for us, if he feels that we could be good parents, if he is willing to make the decision for me, that would be enough for me. I would accept his judgment. After evening class had ended, Marjorie introduced her to a possible midwife. Belle Jackson had been one of the Georgia healing women who served The Army of The Savanah when Butler couldn’t get enough doctors. She had married a former patient. She had delivered many babies in Georgia and several in Alabama, and she had borne three of her own whom she had lost to an epidemic in Savanah.“And,” Deborah asked, “will you wash your hands before delivering mine if I get you warm water and soap?”“If you say so, teacher. I don’t know how I’ll get to you, though. You live by the store, don’t you. That’s way too far to hear.”“My husband will come for you. Why don’t I take you home with me now? He can take the first trip tonight.”They did it that way. She showed Mrs. Jackson the house before Sam drove her home.“Did you get the route?” she asked him.“I want to go over the route a couple of times in the daylight. She had never made the trip at night, and she got a little confused.”“I want you to.
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