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I feel the tight leather training collar being secured around my neck.It is disorienting. I am just there, not being able to see him or hear him. Not knowing what he is doing. I feel the sting of a flogger on my legs and thighs. He begins slowly, repeatedly hitting the same spot over and over again. I am moaning, beginning to cry. Tears falling down my face, but he can’t see them. I feel the callus on his hands as he rubs the welts he has left. The roughness of his skin with the softness of his touch makes this moment feel somewhat like a metaphor for our relationship. He pushes me down to my knees. I am expecting his cock in front of my mouth any moment. My tongue slowly reaching to feel for it, but nothing comes. Instead he is pulling my shirt off leaving my body completely exposed. I am sniffing in the air, trying to catch his scent and find him. I know better than to move or reach for him. I only catch the smell of vanilla.The searing heat from the wax dripping over. This is not something that I declare proudly, it’s just an observation. It is an observation that I can make dispassionately since I can see maturation and growth, so I know what things were before. I have you, my friends here at Literotica, to thank for this progress since before joining this community I may have been over 18, the age at which Lit allows members to join, but I did not know what it was like to be an adult. Why would I say that I wasn’t an adult? I feel that this is true because there were many things that adults did that I wasn’t doing. Chief among these are the fact that I did not make my own decisions about how I wanted to live my life and I did not know what it was like to enjoy my sexuality. I thought that my sexuality was something to be kept under wraps because I was smart and so I was expected to use my brains to get by in life, and sex and brains don’t really mix in Jamaica. Of course, this is not true, but it is what I was raised to believe, along with.
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