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I hated shopping in the same stores where Mr. Oldham bought his clothes, the clerks fawning over me like I held a key to their future. But I would still need to shop for clothes to wear on weekends.Betsy and Molly left the house about six p.m., but not before making sure that I knew where everything was for our evening meal. Molly had the box of my outgrown clothes under her arm, thanking me for the sixth time. "Charity begins at home," she reminded me.Mr. Oldham arrived home early that day, well, early for him. He inspected me thoroughly from head to toe, checking, I suppose, how much I had grown but also for signs of maturity. I looked him over too but I didn't detect the changes that Ned had warned me about. His greeting was warm and familiar, like we had not been apart for the past nine months. We spent the evening talking leisurely, him asking questions and me answering them with the respect that I knew he demanded from me.I didn't get the opportunity to ask him any of the. ”“Between my legs, yes. I rubbed it all around, then I put my fingers inside.”“Holy shit, Mom. So you masturbated?”“Yes. With my son asleep next to me, I smeared his semen on my pussy and in my pussy, then I got off with it.”“Mom, that’s amazing. It’s so wild.”“Yeah. Can you see why I was embarrassed now?”“I guess so. But you don’t have to be. I mean, it’s wild and weird, but ... wow.”“So, I felt guilty about that for years. And that’s not the worst part.”“What’s the worst part?”“For weeks I was terrified that I would get pregnant from it.”“Oh shit, I didn’t think about that.”“I did, non-stop.”David paused to take in what his mother had just shared.“So Mom, why didn’t you send me back in my bed after that?”Now Nikki paused.“For one thing, I was still lonely. We were both grieving, still.”“What’s the other thing? You said, ‘for one thing.’”“I guess we’re really letting it all out now, huh? OK, why not?”“Right, why not?”“OK, well the other thing ... the other part, of the worst part was.
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