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’Trying to listen to myself, I return my focus to the strangers before me. He is in ecstasy, and they are deeply enjoying tormenting him. His eyes slam shut, and he holds them so with seemingly unnecessary effort. The woman with her hand on his throat kisses him now, using her other hand to run her nails down his side like claws. Five red marks streak across his ribs, one of which looks like it may actually be bleeding a little, though I can’t really tell. The way his breathing is changing I know he’s getting close, and I’m excited. In fact, I find myself increasingly excited to see men ejaculating in general. Like, way more. Still, I suppose this is a special circumstance. It’s so… primal, but it also seems loving.“Yeah? Do you like that you little slut?” she asks him loudly, straight into his ear.He nods.The other stops sucking him for a moment. “Yeah? You have to tell us you like it.”“You have to tell us you want it.”“Or we’ll stop.”He nods again, this time more. She smiled, so beautiful. “Marry me,” I asked again, now for the fifth time.“No.”“Then tell me why not. We’re happy. We love each other.”“You’re not ready.”Frustrated, I said, “Enough with the not ready, honey. Tell me why!”She smiled softly, reached out and caressed my jaw. “When you can go into Addison’s room, then you’ll be ready.”As much as it hurt to hear it, the truth hurt even more. Kimber was right. I’d avoided Addison’s bedroom, forever closed, my way of avoiding painful memories, shut away in a corner of my mind.I was happy, yet the ghost of her hovered. While Kimber slept, I wrestled with fear. Opening her bedroom would open memories I had pushed down. I’d never faced the loss, accepted, the prospect terrifying me. I could never forgive myself.Maybe Kimber was right. Maybe she was far, far more insightful than I gave her credit for.I slept restlessly, tossing and turning so much Kimber complained. She was bright and energetic in the morning, giving me smiles and a kiss.
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