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Mom didn't knock before entering my room. "I want to talk to you," she imperially directed as she marched through the door that I'd purposely left open. When I looked up I couldn't miss the fire in her eyes. She'd clearly been saving it up all day. She didn't even noticed my state of undress."Good," I said amiably, "I'll need your help." I knew I had to get her on the defensive right away."For what?" she snapped."My disguise." You are not going anywhere this weekend young man!"I didn't answer her. Instead I stood up and then grabbed the wig I'd chosen for myself from the desk top. She said nothing as I plopped it haphazardly on my head. I put on the shades. "Help me with the moustache," I invited as I geld out the big drooping moustache out to her."You look stupid. The wig isn't even straight," she admonished even as she reached out her hands to adjust the wig."The moustache is sticky on the back, you have to--" I'm pretty sure I can figure out how to put a party moustache on young. Alex sank down on the sofa and buried his head in his hands groaning at the shitty situation that he now found himself in. ‘Alex,’ Diane’s shrill angry voice called from the kitchen. Alex promised himself that he wouldn’t respond to her demands but was knocked out of his resolution by, ‘If you don’t come here and listen to what I have to say, I’m going to break your mother’s fucking Spode, do you understand me?’ Alex shook his head, certain that not even Diane would go that far, knowing that anything which belonged to his now dead mother meant the world to him, and hoping that she wouldn’t resort to such underhand tactics to win her point. However, he was knocked out of his reverie by a further smash. Incensed, Alex made his way to the kitchen fuelled with such anger that he couldn’t see straight. Diane, his ex wife, was sitting on the kitchen table with the prized Spode in her hand and a triumphant smile on her face. ‘I always knew how to get you didn’t I?’ Alex shrugged,.
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