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I sat on my bed looking out at the sky. It looked blue enough, I feltlike I could fly. But I knew I couldn't--that it was impossible like somany other things, like the thought that I could ever be a girl.Nevertheless, the sheer clarity of the sky compelled me to go outside anddo something. I decided to go biking for a bit, even jumped on my oldtrampoline for a while.My senior year started the next week. My last year of high school, thankgod. My last year of being teased and called a faggot. My desire to be agirl had manifested somewhat in my behaviour and being in a small town inthe south as I was, these behaviours were unsatifactory. So I was forcedto conceal my real self, the self that screamed for relief. The self thathad a crush on the hottest guy in school. No, not the captain of thebasketball team (though Brian is incredibly hot), his polar opposite.Zane usually sits with his back in the corner of the cafeteria brooding,keeping his back covered watching everyone with an amused. I watched, Joseph. Isn't that terrible? I watched when they made out. I hid in her little closet when they kissed and touched each other and gradually moved to touching naked skin. She wanted me to join them. It was our fantasy after all." And did you?"She gripped her lower lip cutely with her upper teeth and nodded. "When I saw his ... hard penis ... so long and lean and eager ... it ... it called to me. The first time when she rubbed him to orgasm I came just watching it spurt and him shiver. It was then that Barb knew she would be exclusively lesbian. While it thrilled me, it did nothing for her. The smell she told me actually made her a little sick."So when she relented to my pleading to see it again, she let him ... perform cunnilingus, which she enjoyed somewhat but not as much as ... when I made her cum. Seeing his cock stick up like a flag pole and Barb ambivalent about stroking it made me emerge from hiding and take hold of it. He didn't know it was me at first since Barb.
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