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She would never feel the warmth of his arm. She would never actually have to give in. She shook her head, trying to shake off the mental sensation of him returning the barely perceptible pressure, trying to decide whether to take things further. Then, as their bodies moulded to fit each other’s form, she shut her eyes tight. She would not contemplate thigh against thigh, chest to breast, arms gradually moving up to hold each other closer. Her eyes screwed up would push away any idea of them kissing harder. The innocence would remain innocent. The pleasure would not give way to a strong hint of unfulfilled desire. There were times when Clare could feel herself slipping. Then she would take a deep breath and bring her attention back to the document in front of her, but still…still…his arms strong around her back, gripping slightly now, feeling the taut muscles in her shoulders, releasing the tensions of her day as his hands started to move over her skin…the image haunted her. The sky. Roy was by then employed with a civil engineering company, and was working on a bridge construction site. Probably he was not concentrating properly, and during an inspection he slipped and fell off a high part of the structure. He was killed instantly. I was totally distraught, and for months had to undergo psychiatric treatment. People say, ‘Time heals,’ and no doubt, this is true, but scars remain. There was a large financial compensation payment for Roy’s accident, but money did not alleviate my grief. At the age of twenty-three, I was a childless widow. I heard people whispering, ‘She’s a good looking girl, she’ll soon get someone else,’ but I didn’t want ‘someone else.’ I wanted what I could not have, Roy and my dead child. It might have been best if I had tried to take up some professional work in teaching, but the compensation money lured me away from this. Being without things to occupy me, and as the worst effects of my bereavement diminished, I began to visit old haunts -–.
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