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It catches. One night my friend, while leaning over his PC, decided to conduct an experiment (no doubt stoked by a considerable amount of book smarts, too little wisdom & too much esoterica):’ Meme virus- unreality as infection my bosom bud, a downloadable paranoia’ He spun in his swivel chair to stare me down. ‘Those black Ops wizards painting hologram spirals in the night sky oh yes’ he wrote the virus on his keyboard in a lightning-quick succession of strokes- ‘hampered by hegemony, there is no room for living half lives now!’ So the programming was set: with his Trojan meme, my friend could spray his essence into the deep end of cyber-space & pollinate individual nuggets of insanity. Anyone who skirted too close would be consumed by a language virus of such towering complexity, their minds would be so riddled with logic holes & paradoxes the psyche would have no choice but to bleed out completely- all hands abandon ship. With this my friend became misplaced martyr, declared a. She would exclaim in disgust at even the mildest display on TV, such as two women kissing. She also had an exaggerated gag reflex, one so bad that she couldn’t even go snorkelling with me. The obvious result of the gag reflex was that I never got treated to a blowjob. The one time that she actually agreed to give me one, early in our marriage, she got physically ill when I came in her mouth. As you can imagine, this was a situation that I had always dreamed of rectifying. The opportunity arose in a truly unexpected way. Shelley, my wife, had been experiencing extremely bad period pains, and this particular Friday, she told me in the car going home, about her friend Sara’s solution to her similar pain problem. I was happy enough to hear this as I had suffered along with her every month during the three odd days that she was really hell to live with. As it turned out, she had arranged for Sara to visit us on the Saturday morning, and she had promised to share her discovery. I woke up.
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