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If anything, the birds and crickets seemed emboldened by the sun. Noah cleared it from his mind, hearing only the steps of his horse on the forest floor and the flaring of its nostrils. His breath did not fog, but he felt a chill in the air, joined with the dew gathering on his face and hands. All was calm, all was quiet. Noah kept a constant vigil, turning his head like an owl. If anything was going to happen, it was bound to happen soon. Ah, there it was, the snap of a twig. A deer entered the scene. Noah took aim, and while he didn’t release, he never took his eyes off the creature either. For all he knew, it could turn into something grotesque or launch fireballs from its head. The horse and deer noticed each other, forming lasting eye contact around Noah as they both tried to identify their distant relatives. They soon looked away, each judging the other to not be a threat. Noah considered lowering his bow, but instinct told him to wait. Barely a moment later, the deer was. The world’s smartest man just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack!”The following items are compliments of J & B.After the brief Falkland Islands war, a British regiment commander was addressing some troops under his command who had heroically performed above and beyond the call of duty. He informed them that Her Majesty’s Army had committed to reward each of the three soldiers 100 pounds per inch of distance between two different parts of the man’s body.The commander addressed the first soldier, “Where would you like to be measured, Sergeant?”“From the tip of me head to the soles of me feet, Sir!”, he replied.“Very good!”, the commander said, and the sergeant was measured at 6’5”. He was paid the handsome sum of 7000 pounds.The second soldier was asked, “What about you, Corporal?”“Between the tips of the fingers of me outstretched arms, Sir!”, the corporal said.“Very good!”, replied the commander. The corporal, a man of considerable wingspan, was rewarded 8000 quid.Finally,.
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