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I shut the door behind me and pressed my back against it. After a few minutes of gathering up the courage to talk to him, I opened the door and sat on his lap. That's how I knew I was drunk: I would never have done anything like that sober. He took it gracefully. "Whatcha doin'?" I asked as cutely as possible. "Chris has a virus," he said tapping on the glass of the ancient monitor. The computer had all sorts of windows popping up and error messages covering the desktop. "Jesus," I said, looking in his eyes. "I tried running his anti-virus... Nothing." "Did you try uninstalling the extra programs on here?" He looked at me, a bit shocked that I even knew words pertaining to computers. He didn't realize that since I had grown up around boys all the time, all their computer jargon had rubbed off on me. I didn't say anything, but I could feel a bulge starting to rise in his pants. In no way was I complaining though. So there we sat for about thirty minutes; me on his lap helping him. .seems, even as a young christian, I have always had a secret fascination with the erect penis. Those of wide girth, the narrow curved one eyed snake, bulbous mushroom heads resting comfortably on long slender shafts, steel swords sheathed in uncircumcised foreskin, massive rods cantilevered off tight ballsacs, black as tar. I truly love them all. I was about to see every shape and color imaginable... soon.We took a long and miserable flight from Tampa, Florida into the cute and clean Portland, Oregon airport. On wobbly legs I made my way from baggage claim to the rental car bus. Then we drove directly to one of those “Mcmenamin boys” unique hotels. We crossed over the burnside bridge on our way to the Crystal Palace hotel. Husband made a quick stop in front of the theater, which sat right next to the world famous Voodoo doughnut shop. I had read of their extreme popularity but didn’t expect the line to extend out the door and down the street ending directly in front of the Paris. I.
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