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What do you call a woman who uses too much contraceptive cream?A spermicidal maniac.Why do women have legs?So they don’t leave snail tracks on linoleum floors.What do you call a hooker with no legs?A nightcrawler.What do you call a girl who’s just been run over by a car?Patty.Why do female parachutists always wear pantyhose?So they won’t whistle.How do you tell when a woman is wearing pantyhose?If she farts, her ankles will swell.How do you tell if a woman is wearing underwear?Look for the dandruff on her shoes.Why do women have 2 holes so close together?In case you miss.Why do women have 2 holes so close together?So you can carry them home like a six-pack.What do you call a female clone?A clunt.Why did the guy trade in his wife for an outhouse?Because the hole was smaller and the smell was better.Why is there a string on the end of a tampon?So you can floss after you eat.How does a girl hold her liquor?By the ears!How is a woman like a frying pan?You have to get them hot before you. Linda kind of surprised me when she was wearing my blue dress shirt, but Holly really surprised me as she was in one of my green ones. And in her hand Linda was holding a videotape. “Pete, we did promise Holly she could watch this. And you can’t get a much better chance then we have right now.”I told them to go ahead and get it set up as I went to make sure the front drapes were all closed, the door locked, and got us all a soda. Holly sat on one side of the couch, and I was on the other with Linda sitting between us. But it was not long into the movie when I noticed both girls were shifting around a lot in their seats.About a half hour into the movie Linda was curled up against my side, with her feet almost in Holly’s lap. Holly blew us a kiss and slipped down so she was sitting on the floor. And as she rested with her back against the couch I caught a glimpse of her bottom. What I did not see were any panties.I was letting my hand slide up and down Linda’s side as she wiggled a few.
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