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Back in my hotel room, I had taken a faded family picture from my suitcase. It was the last real family picture. Looking at it, I was amazed that I had been able to leave only months after the sixteenth birthday party where it was taken. I looked so young, and small and weak like my mother. The sweater I wore in the picture had been a favorite, I remembered wearing it to hide the bruises, it’s high neck the perfect cover. I had grown tired years before of wondering why my father was so angry, why my mother stayed, why nobody did anything when it seemed like everyone knew. It was all that either of them knew, I think. To him, it was love. I still don’t know what it was to my mother. I wanted to forgive myself for leaving them to each other, but I knew that in order to do it, I was going to have to let go of all the shit I’d been carrying around since I was a teenager. ‘He was a good man, Brenda. I know that the two of you had your differences, but he was a good man, and he always. At the end of the corridor was a large broom closet which she knew was filled with bed sheets and cleaning supplies. The water continued to run for a few seconds and then it quickly shut off. She imagined him sitting on the edge of the large claw foot tub running hot water. He loved to take steaming hot baths when he was done with her. Sometimes she was allowed to join him, soaking her sore and aching body into the hot water in front of him while he washed her with a sponge. Most times, though, he liked to bathe alone. She never complained when he did. She didn’t realize she was daydreaming until her eyes began to glaze over. She blinked the fuzz away and stood there a moment longer simply staring down the corridor as she contemplated what to do. Most times he would be sitting on the sofa waiting with the door unlocked. In those cases all she had to do was stand in front of him and wait for him to give her instructions. Most times he just ripped her clothes off, if she was wearing.
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