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I want you to get so thoroughly accustomed to beingseen that you won't be the least bit self-conscious about it. Topersuade yourself that you're in fact what you seem to be, one moreof the lovely ladies who come here for the cocktail hour, acharming companion to any man. Right now, to another man's wife.Who can say you aren't? Besides, everyone here is always checkingout everyone else, you should know that! It enhances yourreputation to be seen here." Not mine! I have none! Honey, I do grant you that this is thefanciest bar in town, what with all its polished wood and Tiffanylamps and that sophisticated art on the walls and all. And yes,it's in the most prestigious hotel in town. And yes, they chargea lot even for non-alcoholic drinks. But it seems to me that thisis the kind of place people come only when they want to impresseach other." "Well, you came in order to impress me, didn't you? To show methat you were willing to give me the one birthday present I mostwant in the. Like most young boys, when I was a k** I always wanted to be a professional footballer, pop star or Hollywood actor. The only problems I encountered were the fact that I'm no good at football, can't sing to save my life and have about as much chance of becoming an actor as I have of getting pregnant - zilch! So eventually I decided on a career in the armed forces. Let's face it, travelling around the world, legally being able to carry a weapon (and fire it) and being paid for the privilege can't be bad, can it? Anyway, to cut a long story short (ooh, Jesus, flashback to the 80s and Spandau Ballet!) I joined up and chose to join the Royal Military Police regiment. My brother used to be in the RMP and had told me many great stories about his time with them, although before I joined I figured that they were just a figment of his imagination - how wrong I was! It all started on a fairly normal day. There I was, stood on the parade ground with my sergeant shouting obscenities into my ear.
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