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Am I capable of thinking about someone else? Does he deserve more than I can give him? Did I really get this way because my parents spoiled me? Did Barry make me selfish by allowing me to get my way? Is mom right? Is it really my responsibility no matter how I got here? My head was spinning. Finally it hit me. What I had done? Who had I become? I started to sob and that’s how Barry found me when he got home. He was saying something. He didn’t touch me, but he was talking to me. ‘What’s the matter Grace? What is it?’ His tone was not comforting, it was more like he was annoyed. I suppose I had earned that. It was hard to talk. I was having trouble catching my breath. ‘I’m, I’m sorry Barry.’ No response. I had to catch my breath before I could continue. ‘I’m sorry about what I did. I’m sorry I hurt you. I was wrong. I was wrong about everything. I was so self-centered I couldn’t even see how selfish I was.’ ‘I thought it was my fault.’ ‘I deserve that. Truth is I blamed everybody but. David was close to his mother. His father had left them when he was ten years old. She was now still only 38 years old so he encouraged her to date, and she had done so. One evening, a week after the departure of Josh, she was preparing to go out and was seated at her makeup table doing her fingernails. He walked in without thinking and she was dressed only in a white lacy push-up bra and panties, and sexy black nylons. He stopped dead in his tracks. Her fingernails were wet with nail polish so she could not cover herself. She just giggled and said, "Well my sweet darling boy you were bound to see me at some point, so, no big deal. I mean really, it is the same as seeing me in a bikini which you have done many times."He just stared. She straightened her back and her full, firm breasts stood out. She was teasing him. She enjoyed the vicarious pleasure it was giving her to have him stare at her. He hadn't realized her breasts were so big, as she often wore loose clothing or suits to her.
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